my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
