my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
