I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I would fuck him just for his dog
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
