Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
