So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
