I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
