I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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