You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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