WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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