these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
