lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
