I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
