My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
