im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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