I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am naked and annoyed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
