he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
3 2 1 whiskey
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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