I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my phone needs a breathalizer
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
