he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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