fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
