Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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