I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
