Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
