I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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