i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
