i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
