Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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