You're so nebulous sometimes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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