can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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