I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
