I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The power of my boobs compel you
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
