Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
where does the pee come out of this thing
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
