She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
