i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
