She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
