is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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