did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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