we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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