woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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