What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
