I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
