You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
