How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he puts the penis in happiness.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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