so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
