I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
