sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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