how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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