Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
