i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
