This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
