He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
