Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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